The Time For Sorrow
by Warlordess
Summary: WOOHOO! FINAL CHAPTER ADDED! A Pegasus & Ceceila romance! Now Cecelia is dead and Pegasus can't seem to live without her but... Is she really gone..? Contains character death & attempted suicide.
1. The Prelude

****

The Time for Sorrow

By: anime*romancelover

Part One: What is Life Worth without You?

Summary: This is Pegasus/Cecelia fix. I try to put a lot of detail just like in his writing, so if you like it, please review. As I said in my other fics, I will probably only continue if I get some feedback on this. 

P.S. I made up the poem [ words in italics] on my own, so please don't take them without my permission. Thank you and enjoy!

____________________________________________________________________________

Dearest Cecelia,

I note that your death has been drawing ever closer and with it my life ending as well. The skies seem to grow darker at every moment and never-ending rain fills the empty spaces within my heart with sorrow.

As I wait for your crystal eyes to open my mind is spinning and my sight is blinded from the purest of tears that were ever shed over my face. They trickle down my cheek as I brace your left hand between my own. Shallow breathing is sustaining me at the moment, but I fear that you will give out any second.

My life is whirling within a blinding white light. I can't look at anything without memories of the past blowing our future through the flames of torture. Gazing at your features would be so much easier if you could just open your eyes and whisper the words that I long to hear...

I can no more salvage my depressing manner and thoughts than leave your bedside. I shall never continue my twisting journey of life without you standing by my side.

Whilst I glance about your room I spot everything that could bring about a touching but painful memory. They all shed nothing but a new light, which diminishes after I feel the ice-cold feeling of your skin.

I'd give almost anything for you to return. But alas, I see no more hope than a star that would guide you back to me.

I now know that fate was not on our side, but rather against us from the moment we introduced our love to the world. I will still wait for your return into my arms, and I plan to not back down now. 

As I take sight upon the winter snow falling outside I notice I grow cold, inside and out.

I fear our time together is short so I must continue my dream before it diminishes with our destiny, forever held in each other's arms...

--- Forever Yours,

M. Pegasus

__

~ When will winter change to spring?

When will fate change its course?

How can you return to me?

Swear to me, that I'm forever yours...~

~ Now is when I see

That we were meant to be

As the snow melts in winter 

To the mystical colors of spring...~

~ I can't handle the difference

He side I see life from now

I try to salvage my depressing memories

But I can't get rid of my reminisces for you~

Dearest Cecelia,

My dream is beginning to turn into a desire... How I wish you would return to me. I see that your condition is becoming worse.

I can never love another, nor shall I continue my life without you next to me, holding my hand while I try to fight the winds pushing me back. Slight differences are nothing we can't handle, but you just continue to give up. But for your love and mine combined, I shall fight this war as long as I can continue.

I beg for you to forgive me as I push our destiny closer against your will, I can no longer watch the beautiful rose that is your face wilt away because of past mistakes.

I shall strive to be all that I can, for with you gone... I would rather die than live long enough to see you dissipated.

I was always there for you, as I am now. I hold your fragile hand to my chest as though it were your heart, beating against mine. Our souls are intertwined and I wish to not lose my other half. I can not accept fate, as I notice your laboring breath.

Forgive me, My Love, for I half failed you. And I shall relieve myself of having to live in this world without you...

Alas, the only way to do this is suicide...

And if that's what it takes, then so is it...

Forever Yours,

M. Pegasus

__

~ The stars twinkle as

The time moves ahead

But I'm left behind

Moving backwards instead...~

~ I'm trying to find myself

To find where I'm truly meant to be

As the time moves forward

And the winter changes to spring...~

~ Is there more to our life than I can see?

I wait for you from afar, wondering

How can it be?

Now I know that our destiny was replaced with a terrifying fate~

****

Dearest Cecelia,

I know that our future is crashing down and frankly I can't stand to see you this way any more. By sunrise tomorrow, I shall be gone from this world. Do not forget me, for my love for you still linger over the last bit of life within your body.

Please accept my apology, but I want no more to do with our pain than my life without you. 

I am but a falling autumn leaf, tumbling towards the ground where I will forget about life. There is no more of a message, except, 

__

~ No matter how much your fate will make me cry

My tears, forever, within an expression of grief

My love, eternal for you, will never die

Only for you, I will die while in my own brief...~

~... Only for you...~

****

I now shut the journal of my life, never to be opened by my hands again. I only savor for a moment our sweet memories together, for by tomorrow, they will end all together.

And we, My Love, will once again place our arms around each other as I caress your smooth cheek and feel the warm emotion in our kiss. We shall be, 

__

~ Harmonic, A sweet memory,

Still together in our right place,

Living in solidifying, inexpressible harmony...~

****

__________________________________________________________________________

A/N: That was part one. I have to say I tried my best... Please tell me if you appreciated it, okay? I'll try and get part two as fast as I can.


	2. The Aftermath

The Time for Sorrow

_By: Chibi-Suiko_

****

Part Two: What's A Strong Heart Without You?

A/N: This part is written as an article from some paper or whatever. Pegasus is now spending his last moments with Cecilia. See what's going to happen by reading this chapter!

As you can see I've changed my name... Just thought you should know...

__________________________________________________________________

**I am watching from outside the room, noticing such a tragedy as no other. A young woman lying in her bed, while a man grazes her cheek with his index finger.**

Hello, my name is Sazuka Aino and I am writing a theoretical piece for the Light Shine paper about death.

I feel that I have now found my main subjects, whose lives have ended short due to fates' striking hand. As I walk into their room the woman stays still whilst the man takes no notice regarding my solitary entrance.

I look to the woman and notice a beautiful silk-skinned angel, lying peacefully in her bed as the heart monitor takes the slow scans of her beating heart. No one human deserves such an angry blow in their life. I will now start my interview with the man.

__

~ I scan the area for you

Letting the sun continue to shine

I feel you're just too good to be true

As I look into your eyes...~

~ Sulfur and ash darken the sky

While our hearts grow close

And our hands intertwine

... I continue to need you...~

~ ... Allow me your affection...~

****

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He has told me many things in the last few minutes. Some I'd rather not say. One of his most recent comments was that " I've always followed my heart." My question to such a comment is, " How does your heart take this tragedy?" His answer is one I will never forget.

" My life has always been the best or more. It has only got better when I met my Dearest Cecilia. As she takes her last breaths I will never forget the softness of her smile, her tender motions, her pure soul... My heart is wilting with her life energy as it drips from her... I fear _my_ life isn't going to last much longer."

That one statement struck me with more shock than my being diagnosed with an incurable illness. I can hardly relate to such emotion, as I have never loved as he has. He pulls closer to the body of the loved one on the bed and I notice his eyes allowing soft tears to drop.

My next question was, " Have you always relied on a strong heart?"

His answer, " I can no longer reach my destination because my heart is weak... My brilliant mind alone is no difference to my future without Her by my side."

I could feel my eyes letting the tears flow. How much more of these true answers could I stand? The lovely women's heart monitor was letting loose the smallest scans as her pulse rate dropped to a bare Negative. The man, M. Pegasus, was looking devastated. The sound of her heart rate was now down to... Zero.

I could see Mr. Pegasus shaking with grief as she let loose her last breath. Silence meant no more as his heart-wrenching sobs filled the room. I couldn't help but cry, too, as I know how it feels to lose someone.

I could see by his expression that those were all the answers I would get, and I must say that those are all I need. There was just one more note I should make. 

As I was leaving I saw Mr. Pegasus bend down to her face and kiss her affectionately on her soft lips.

After he was told by the Hospitals staff to leave the room, I received a final statement.

He said to me, " As I laid my lips upon hers, I could feel a similar emotion to my former life... I tell you now, she still lives."

__

~ With or without you

I will never make it

All I want is you...~

~ Forgotten past

That's what my life remains as

You've meant more to me

Than what the rest of the Earth has...~

~ ... Stay by my side...~

****

With that he walked away, leaving me to stare after him, speechless. No more of a tragedy have I seen for myself and I never shall live it again.

I am now walking out the building as the day ends and the stars float through the clear sunset sky. I wonder, How could everything be so cheerful when death strikes those who least expect it? I wrote this article draft a while ago and I still don't know the answer.

I think of what He said about his life and it lingers before I connect the dots in my head----- Suicide!

As he was my subject I have run to his house at Two in the morning. I walk up to the door and the lights are out. I disregard the bell and throw the door open to reveal a house stripped of every note containing a memory.

Upon a desk lay a small book, velvet red. The color of blood. I take a risk and look through the most recent entries ( Check first part for the following...). Everything points to his coming death and I cannot contain my tears. Again I let them loose.

I take note to a journal entry that was written only moments before I arrived. One last time---

__

~ I took note to how soothing her face looked and know now that there would be no more pain for her. I believe that her physical appearance may be dead, yet she is still within my heart. I never got to say goodbye, but it doesn't matter, for we shall meet again in the near future. Goodbye My Love... And hello again. ~

****

I know that I can no longer stop him so I leave the house as the wind brushes by my face. True love never has a happy ending for we all know too well. Tragedy always makes a striking entrance.

How can I ever forget how life ends so suddenly for the undeserving?---

That's just it, I can't...

__

~ Tender touch, softening kiss

This is all I know

Keep my heart within your hands

Savor our moments for I love you so...~

~ Never again shall my feet touch the earth

Nor shall I graze your cheek

As the sand blows around with the wind

I notice your condition made me meek...~

~ ...I will never suffer again...~

****

Now I write one more thing. Mr. Pegasus said that he always followed his heart. Well, I wonder... Does he do that now? 

The wind tells me his answer... Another everlasting comment.

" There are some things that even my heart can't take..."

I will never forget the man who would give anything for his loved one- His soul mate. This would include his life...

And wherever you are now, Mr. Pegasus, I want you to know that you have taught us a message.

A message of love, a message of life, a message of death.

__

~ As I remember the years of our past

I forget the gift I had received

As I note you physical death

I feel you still within me...~

~ I swore never to give up

My heart was once strong

I thought that we would last forever

Now I see that I was wrong...~

~ ... I shall never love or live... Again...~

*** Pegasus' POV ***

As I walk to a cliff surrounded by the horizon, I glance around as the wind whistles behind me.

I know, now, that I will never feel that or anything else again. My love, remember me, remember us. For now, we shall be together once more...

__________________________________________________________________

A/N: Well, Part two done. Can't wait for the third part- That's right, its not over! I'm on a roll, aren't I?

I hope you liked this. It took forever to come up with. I know that it's shorter than the first, but the story still goes on! 

The next chapter will be in Pegasus' POV, probably through the whole thing. I hope you're looking forward to it.

---I think I'll put a small preview

*** I stand over the edge of the cliff. Now that Cecilia is gone, there is no more hope for the future. I have no setbacks for this plan. My life has no meaning; therefore it must end...

The wind blows again, stronger than ever...

Suddenly I throw myself over the edge. I open my eyes so as to not upset the promptings of fate. From afar I notice a small light. I can no longer shut my eyes, even if I wanted to. I become transfixed with this unknown beam and notice it growing larger as though coming towards me.

... The beam lashed through my mind and I felt a tingling pain flow through my whole body. Everything seems to turn a blinking white and as I can think no more, I let darkness envelope me...***

--- There we go. Cool, huh? Feel free to tell me what you think...


	3. The Epilogue

****

The Time For Sorrow

__

By: Chibi-Suiko (Formerly known as anime*romancelover))

A/N: This is the third, and maybe last part of my Cecilia and Pegasus romance. I know that it's been a _loooonnnnnngggggg _**while since I've written but that only means that I've got more experience now, okay? After reading this part I'm sure you'll feel all fluffy and emotional inside so get the tissues ready, all right--?!**

*

__

... This unworthy love will never die away...

I'll never admit that I wait for you

To recognize what I've seen you do

Countless times, in love, I hear

Of your faint whispering in my ear

And with bated breath, I sing...

--Just a small portion of a song I made.

*

~*~*~

I knew that life was not for me from the moment that I'd first glanced into your eyes. How? Because at a point in every persons life their existence is supposed to come crashing down. You were my existence. And I knew what that meant for us.

I dreaded the day of our marriage, our final parting reaching ever closer. I could tell you then that we would be separated so as to dispense of any pain that either of us would feel later on... But I didn't because I was selfish. Even for those few chillingly beautiful moments, I wanted to spend the last of my days and nights at your side.

I can tell you (Or, rather, he can't since she's dead…) now that your illness came as no surprise. I could only contain my knowing of it by straining all of my emotion on you. I lay at your side every night, holding you so very tenderly in my arms, not at all willing to let you go. When you collapsed the first time, sending you into the hospital, I followed you there as well. I remember you laughing sweetly when you awoke, catching sight of my grimace as I saw IV's being put into you.

How was it that even in the most desperate of times you still chose to laugh it away? I could do nothing but look at you, how you slept with a watchful resolve. When you awoke again to me nodding off, telling me to go home and get some rest of my own. I only replied that wherever you were, even in the desolate ward of the health facilities here, was my home. There was no other place I'd rather be.

Day by day, I brought you gifts, small tokens of my love... Roses, for they were always your favorite, cinnamon incense, it rectified not only your nerves but my own as well, and a kiss. I could tell that you looked forward to that above all. 

Another lesson about life is that your existence was always supposed to climb back up. After all of my support in your time of hurt, the Gods still saw fit to break apart such a perfect love. 

I remember how you asked me, one day, what I thought about love. I think that you were confused about why I thought you such an angel. This question only made me love you more...

Love to me is not a word, or a thing. It's not even as dim as a 'feeling'. It's a trait of the human heart. All fall prey to it and, in the end, suffer grievously. I would not mention to you how useless my love for you seemed to be right at that moment but instead gripped your hand and told you what I felt.

" Love is you. Love is me. We are the birth-right's to happiness." You smiled in bliss and cupped my face, using your wilting strength to pull yourself up well enough to kiss me, "Beauty is love, and you are the vision of them both..."

Something I'd wanted to say for so long because of the overwhelming amount of truth in it. And I was so pleased that you believed me, it was as though that in itself were an apology from Kami, as if he were hoping to make things right.

Alas, the next day you were gone, simply at the sight of dawn. It was so hard, and at the same time easy, to watch you go. You have no idea what the loss did to me. The loss of a heart that I loved more than anything. Just the same as when we were children, brought up in the riches of luxury, so as to when I grew up I lost everything. The same could be said of my own fortune. The moment you slipped away from me, so did the sun…

***

So now I stand above the horizon, the glistening of the ocean in front of me. My hand is clasped around a small diamond, the ring of our birth as one. I had seen it resting on your finger, only to find that it no longer belonged to either one of us. It belongs, now, to Kami and his all mighty ruling. Perhaps that was what he was trying to say to me as I stood before your limp being for there is no other explanation for this ultimate sacrifice.

Kami, was I that unbecoming to you? Did you truly think me a threat to your deceit? You have unmanaged belief in the followers' eyes. As the church-goers pray your name in silent relent I stood before an open field, exposing all that you were as I relayed the true beauty of life. But you could not stand the beauty and so you, belittling the very destruction you caused, destroyed it. But you have taken a light with you… One that will never glow again.

It was the innocence that a young, believing woman portrayed… But in stealing her, you took the very essence of your creation of human existence.

So, here I am, standing above the Earth, your oldest light, holding the grudge that you, yourself have contaminated me with. It's not so easy to watch the life of the world rush by and the adrenaline drain itself from my veins. There is no way of me overcoming the loss you've inflicted… You, as the all mighty being you are, have shamed your own name. The rose has wilted and there is no way of bringing it back now that it is gone.

We have been blighted as a whole, stained by your ignorance, the very same that we thought you didn't contain. And we were wrong.

No set-backs for this plan. You may not have known, but you've destroyed a total of two lives. If you are pleased with these events than you truly are what would be referred to as a 'Kami-Like Figure'. For only one such as that could think so much of himself. 

The wind is blowing in a rush, telling me, wanting me to confide in death. And I am listening. I am giving in. I am fleeing from the truths of life just to ultimately please myself.

I'm whisked off of the edge and in a flurry of wind and ironic sunshine, my eyes are torn open as I set myself to my goal. After all, Love, I am but half a soul without you... Therefore, since this soul cannot live alone, I must die so that we can be together again.

The pessimist, though I may sound, my thoughts are optimistic, my goal true. I only want to be with you.

The crash of the ocean waves brutalize the jagged rocks that I approach. My eyes, however, are torn from such a thing by a miniscule light off in the distance. It is surging towards me, almost leaving me dumbfounded.

I would think nothing of it except... I am hearing a tune of the most soft and melodic... It is unnatural, not to mention completely impossible for me to be hearing your voice coming from the flutter of light...

Next moment thoughts in general are swept from my mind as the beam lashed at me. I feel a vibration in my head and a pounding reverberation. Next moment a pain like no other drives itself through my nerves, sending me into a shrieking frenzy. The vapor clouding my visions is sending me into the darkness and, almost a little too willingly, I let myself fall into it...

~*~*~

"Mister Pegasus..? Pegasus, sir?" A wheezy tone and a shake of my shoulder bring me back from the bliss that is unconscious. I state bliss only because the pain I'm feeling now is so intense, "Can you hear me, sir? Please move your fingers if so." 

Painstakingly, I concede and announce my re-arrival to reality by using my left hand to grip the sheets. There is a sigh of relief and my eyes slowly find themselves opening curiously.

The sight that meets my eyes is that of an aging man standing over me with a clipboard. I, myself, am laying under some white sheets with a headache that puts death to shame. The man is gazing at me intently, almost as though I am a miracle of medical resistance. I turn away and stare out the window, where I see a fluttering birdling taking flight from a sakura tree.

"Maximillion Pegasus, welcome back to the world of the living. My name is Doctor Momoi. You have been in my care for the past six weeks and have just reawoken from a severe case of coma. Do you remember anything that happened to you?" He asks me and I shake my head. He sighs, as though expecting that of me, "...Clearly due to the head trauma... Hopefully not a permanent case..." He mutters and writes something on his clipboard. A trivial guess comes to mind and infers that he fears I have amnesia. Unfortunately I was only wishing such a thing.

"...I am wondering... About everything that has happened to me." I state and he looks at me, seemingly surprised that I'm talking so well all ready. He places his board on the bedside table and comes to stand closer beside me.

"Sir, you were found on the east coast seashore by a sixteen year old male. He phoned an ambulance immediately. Your injuries included sufferable amounts of excess sea water intake, a concussion, three broken ribs, and a spreading skin infection... We've managed to contain both the skin illness and your ribs are currently mending. However, I'm afraid you won't be leaving for awhile now." He stands up again and picks up his board. As he heads to the door, he turns back to me and says, "Your nurse will be coming in about twenty minutes to check your vitals. If all goes well, you can be eating by tonight. Just try not to fall over anymore cliffs, if you please."

And I was left alone with only the sunshine outside.

~*~*~

Five months later, I just happened to be getting back on my feet. I had returned from my eleventh week of physical therapy and was just becoming more able to walk on my own again (not working my muscles had left me quite vulnerable, in a physical sense). The sunshine outside had been replaced with dark clouds that easily made decision to many that it was undoubtedly going to rain. Or snow... I couldn't tell which. The sky was so dark, and I hadn't been outside in such a long while that I had forgotten what signs to look for. But, either way, I just didn't care anymore...

My first try at death had been unsuccessful. Father was grateful, he's been trying to convince me repeatedly to come back and work for him so that, one day, I could take over the family company. Personally I'd rather attempt a life of my own, if I bothered living... But, without Dearest Cecelia, what life is there to live?

Down the hall, I head faint laughter. It sounds like the nurses have invited some of the elders to watch a comedy with them. I don't think I've laughed myself in the longest time... It might have felt good, if only there was anything humorous about this world anymore. I've been seeing analysts and I've been receiving convincing reason to join an adult therapeutic group home. Believe it or not, I can't see myself anywhere but here the rest of my life. I know the staff think it impossible. It's just that... Cecelia died here, so why can't I not wither away in this place as well?

"Sir, Maximillion..? Vitals." My nurse walks in. A sweet young thing who I think has quite a fancy for me. But, for her, I feel absolutely nothing. She comes up to me and completes the BP and temperature and things. And then she sighs distressedly, "Mister Pegasus, I know it's not my place to comment but... Your wife would have wanted you to live happily. I realize that you don't wish to be anywhere that isn't with her but... For once, think about how she may have wanted you to live on. Somehow, something saved you that day and you've thanked that force by remaining here well after you're well enough to be getting along." She began to scribble down some things and walked away.

Strangely, I'm compelled to talk, "Nurse Sohryu, I am an unfortunate soul who can't even afford death. Cecelia would have wanted me to be with her forever. Only Kami knows why I haven't been able to finish myself off." Her gaze is simple but she chooses to speak what little wisdom she has.

"Sir, perhaps it's not that you `haven't been able to finish` yourself off... Maybe it's more like a convincing hand is holding you from knocking at deaths door. And, if so, I would be thanking that hand if I were you." She bows respectively and blushes, as though just realizing how... possessive she may have sounded, "But it's not my place to talk about spirits to a broken man. I have other patients to take to. I'll be back later." And she leaves me here alone once again.

The wind is beginning to whistle beyond my glass windows. I look outside to see thunder bellowing across the skies. Clapping lightning meets it halfway and, two seconds later, the power goes out. I merely sit in my bed watching the reflection of the waters trailing down the panes. Ominous sounds are coming from the hallway, along with small flickers of light. But I know that it's only the gaurds and their flashlights.

I feel a tingling on my shoulder but I don't bother to move. After all, whatever's there would move along in a moment on its own accord. Still, I feel a soft tickle on my neck, hot like breath, but when I turn, there is no one there. What can I do but wonder if perhaps a spirit _is _**happening along my road?**

"...I will miss you..." Is all I hear before the being is gone and I am left alone again. Before they left, however, the tingling of their hand on my shoulder had left, only to be returning upon my lips. But then, the feeling is gone and the power is returned to the hall and my room. The footsteps are dying away now and the shouts are dimming.

Yet I am still sitting there, knowing now who that mysterious feel belonged to; _my Cecelia is not gone after all_**.**

~*~*~

*

A/N: That was the last part. I hope you liked it, as it _DID _**take two years to post... Sorry for that long wait but I'm hoping that it was worth it for all of you. Keep reading and possibly, I'll make something else. You can give me your suggestions if you want. I hope to see a review or two after such a long while... **Sweatdrop** I can't believe I waited **_that _**long to post...**

--Chibi ending transmission.


End file.
